Been a while...

Need to start this again. I hate to complain so lets consider this a 'condition update'. I have Crohn's. A chronic condition that sucks in so many ways. I can't work a full time job or even commit to a part time one. I never know when the pain or nausea will strike and at times it's debitating.
 I know where every bathroom is around my hometown in case I get caught out, yet I rarely go out for fear of an accident.I can't even do my volunteer work any longer.
Even though this is debilitating I have fought for 5 years for Social Security Disability. 

Last week I woke up at 4am with nausea and dry heaves. Feeling the urge to void from both ends and couldn't. I had an appointment at the attorneys office, 45 minutes away from home and was considering the call to cancel. My roommate said it may be good if they see me feeling like this, so he drove me to my 1pm appointment. We live in the Ozarks. Every road is hilly and windy. NOT conducive to nausea in the least bit even with the medication I take. I didn't dare eat before leaving home and my sugar level was making me even woozier. When we did stop for lunch about 2:30 the pain started before I had 1/2 my sandwich eaten. (all natural, I stay away from perspectives and boxed foods) By the time we got home I ran to the bathroom and went to bed, then ran to the bathroom, then to bed, then to the bathroom, then to bed...and was down the next day. This I think was brought on over the stress of knowing I had an appointment in the first place. Knowing I had to go out of the house, deal with people and heaven help me, may have to poop! I had a lite panic attack...some can put me in a fog for a while...but always I break out in a cold sweat, feel faint like and the nausea will hit. Visually it feels like a fog surrounds me from the outside in.Closing in, almost cocooning me. Then poof, it's gone and I feel like I've just fought 10 rounds with Alie and lost in the worst way.

I pledge I will try to keep up with this blog and post some daily to show how Chron's, IBS, Colitis or whatever this is effects my daily life.I hate complainers and whiners, so please don't take this a poor pitiful me blog. I am a fighter. And I battle with my insides almost daily. I win be cause I AM. Though I admit the battles often wears me down.