And BAM, knocked down again.

Up at 6:30am with the normal achy hollow feeling in my gut. Tried to have a 'movement' but no results to speak of. I woke up feeling like I had a hang over. Not fair feeling like you 'party till you puke' without the party part. Was going to sit with a 96 year old friend last night while her care givers went out for dinner but had to call and cancel. I had a mild “panic?” attack. I find myself having to REMEMBER TO BREATH as the world seemed to orbit on the opposite axle I was standing on. I was dressed and ready for my ride to town when WAM...the fog started. I remember my roommate standing at the front door telling me he a fellow helping with a haul off job, he said something else but I couldn't really hear him...his lips were moving but my sound was turned off.. In a haze I went to bed fighting nausea as I fought my black out curtain trying to close away the light. Like a Vampire battles the sun only able to breath in the dark. I remember flopping into bed and was almost stuck there in the same position for almost an hour. The FOG started to life about ½ an hour after laying down but my limbs weighed a ton and I felt to heavy to move. The nausea came and went most of the night. Not bad like it can be but there in the back round like a creepy dark shadow in a Hitchcock that you know is hiding the bad guy. (just had my 3^rd run to the bathroom in the 2 hours I've been up...little better results this time) I know stress kick all this into high gear and I have a hard time turning my brain off sometimes. Last night all I could do was grieve about the bag of groceries I would have gotten if I had been able to sit with Miss Margie for an hour or so last night.( I get paid in food when I can help, they have a grocery store) The nerve (whatever it is) that shoots pain through my anus ( on the left side this time) had started a few nights before. That can get sever enough to bring on an ' fog attack' but it wasn't, so I am not sure what brought it all on.

I cleaned the kitchen yesterday. It takes several hours as when the pain in my butt reaches a point I go sit for a while. When it eases up, I'll get up and continue. 10 to 20 minutes I suppose. I hate to just sit when my brain has a list, no, book of THINGS TO DO. I hate my body for acting like an alien attacking itself at a moments notice.

10:20 am I haven't eaten. Not looking forward to today’s first meal. With the rumblings in my intestines the poor results in the bathroom this morning may lead to a volcano like explosion later. Keeping up the herb tea until I venture to toast, perhaps. Yesterday was 1 baked chicken thigh for brunch, crackers and cheese a few hours after I came out of the fog and a cup of sherbet . We'll see how today goes...